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Friday, 27 June 2008

Toilet Humour

A friend of mine once flew 5750 miles to get laid.

He (obviously only a man would do this) flew the 11.5 hours from London to Rio, did the dirty, then hopped back on the plane and headed home. We (his friends, although he may revise this description if he reads this) didn't even know he'd done it, until we chanced upon his passport one day and noticed the Brazilian stamp and the whole sorry tale came out.

At the time we made fun of him - you sad b*****d - flying to Brazil for a sh*g etc.- but later I came to see that there was something rather romantic about flying half-way around the world to see someone you love, even if the stingy sod did travel as a courier to avoid shelling out. I think he thought it was quite a grand gesture too, although the later revelation that the entire Oxford men's rowing team, who had accompanied the female team to Brazil, had had slightly less far to travel to enjoy similar favours, left a rather bitter taste in his mouth. And quite possibly hers too ...

Anyway, I mention all this because this weekend, I am flying 645 miles to ... go to the toilet. You think I'm joking, but I'm not. You see, there is a scene in my fourth book set in the casino in Monte Carlo. Set in the toilet at the casino at Monte Carlo to be more precise. And never having been to the toilet in the casino in Monte Carlo, I felt I needed to go to make sure I properly captured the mood and smell of the place (the casino that is) as well as the layout and fixtures and fittings of the facilities themselves.

I'm taking the missus, of course - you try having a conversation that starts "Darling, I'm going to Monaco for the weekend" and not end up having to bring your better half too! The whole trip is costing me a bloody fortune. Flights, helicopter transfers, hotels, food, gambling money, cocktails. You probably even have to pay to have a pee. The things I have to go through to in my unselfish drive for authenticity!

- good thriller - £6.99
- holiday and palm tree to read it under - £1000
- knowing that the description of the toilets is 100% accurate - priceless (except for me)


Anonymous Anonymous said...

So flash!

And not quite as sordid as your friend's experience...

July 01, 2008  

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